We're here to tell you what we think of Newcastle's sad drinking scene, what to avoid and why. Of course if you want to see the best, visit the late lamented BurglarsDog or buy a copy of the book - it's still the definitive guide to a night on the razz in Newcastle. Go on, get off your fat arse now and buy Mark's book. Click on the link to the left....
But for most it's no challenge, throwing a few words on the page. To encourage the slow witted to reduce the size of their wallets endless websites pile turd upon turd in reviewing the increasingly desperate Newcastle drinking scene.
Sites like pubsnewcastle.com engage in toadying hagiography of bars so vile that anyone other than a meths necking alcoholic would drink leper spit rather than chancing their guts with a pint of badly kept John Smiths or their faces with an idly placed punch.
You don't believe me..... well you're an idiot, go into the Black Garter, then [if you survive, a 50-50 prospect at best] look at the pubsnewcastle.com review; 'Large traditional Newcastle pub that is best described as the bar with a heart in the heart of the city'. WHAT.?.?.are we talking about the same pub; a sticky carpeted fight-fest full of reeking alcoholics who'd give a tramp a blowjob for a half of John Smiths ? Are you blind or stupid ?
But ......... we're different.